Insomniac
by HetericaIs2000LightyearsAway
Summary: This is a songfic 'album' of sorts. The base album is Insomniac by a group that sounds like "Grene Dey"
1. Armatage Shanks

(A/N: This is a songfic, but the title and the basic premise are mentioned only. No lyrics, so it's not copyright infringement.)

They don't care for me, I know, but that's alright. I've learned to accept it by now, you see, long ago, I decided to become a pessimist. No one likes a pessimist, but I've understood it to be the best way to deal with life. Some ask me why I'm a pessimist, and I always like to think that I always have been, but deep down, I know that's not true. Someone made me that way.

Her name was Whitetail. She was perhaps the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole life, so beautiful, I could look at her all day, that is, if she weren't on the midday patrol half the time. She wasn't like the other cats, I could tell. Her eyes had that look in them of depth, the ability to look at your soul for all its parts. I only got the courage to talk to her at all moons later, but I was glad I did. She always saw the parts of folks, all their horrible secrets and thoughts, their love, their apathy. And wouldn't you know, she thought they were worth something. But good things can never last.

One night, as we were sitting by the lake, she looked at me. She looked at me in the way she had looked at the others a thousand times before, and I realized that I was being judged. And what she said next took me by surprise.

"Oakfur", she asked, "You still believe in love, don't you?"

A bit startled, I replied, "Yes, I suppose."

"I've come to the conclusion", she replied, "That no one can really love."

"Whatever do you mean?", I asked.

"In the end, whatever we do, for whatever reason we do it, is for ourselves."

I stopped and thought for a second about that.

"What if I told you", I said, "That I love you."

"Then you do no more than pledge your heart to me forever.", she said.

"Isn't that love?", I asked.

"Not if I break it.", she calmly retorted.

And with that, she simply ran into the lake. I didn't even stop her. She was right, after all, she broke my heart. And with that I swore my life to that of a pessimist. People don't get it, but that's okay, because in a way, pessimism keeps my heart alive.

They never did find the body, nor did they ask anything about it. They kept walking around, doing their own chores and frivolous tasks. And that was proof enough for me. The world was calloused and destroyed those who weren't. The world is ugly, hateful, and impure. One can only hope to be the same way.

(A/N: In case you didn't already know, this fic is a collection of short stories based on the album Insomniac by a certain group called something similar to "Green Dey")


	2. Brat

My father is dying, I can feel it. The one who put me in the position of deputy, the one who led our clan to its greatness, will soon die. Of course, he's still got many lives ahead of him, about 5, or so they say. Once I was convinced that I would never become leader because of his tenure, but I figured that out too. Let's just say that it's good to be king.

As I walk outside, I bask in the pure unjudging light of the sun. My father comes up to me, with a circumstance of eminence and posture. He looks at me almost disapprovingly. He once believed in me, but that belief left long ago. He merely tolerates me. He has no idea what's coming.

I leave no scent when I go into the underbrush, having covered myself in water. I know that this will be the place my father will walk this evening for the patrol. Having stolen some kill, and having placed it strategically in a hole, I take a short break to collect my thoughts.

An image runs through my head of days long past, with my father happily talking to me as a kit about the duties of a leader and how he could only hope that role for me. It almost saddens me to think of what this will do, but after all, this is his wish. Tomorrow, Bramblepelt will ascend to the position of leader of ThunderClan.

There is no ill will harbored towards my father by me, there is only goodness in my heart for him. But he must die so I can fulfill my goal. After all, nothing good can last, even leaders.

I delicately place more kill in the large holes in the thicket. Hopefully this would go as planned. I work all day and slowly leave, making sure there is not even a trace of my visit to this place. The sun has gone down, drowning slowly in the woods, only to be reborn tomorrow.

I slowly but surely make my way back to the den. As I walk in, the other warriors pay me no mind. They have learned not to question my frivolous wanderings. Everyone is so unaware of the thorns that lie in the thicket. It almost makes me laugh. I catch a brief glimpse of my kind and delicate mother outside. She was always so supportive of me, no matter who I was. I distinctly remember her on the morning I became a warrior. She was so proud, almost in tears. And then I remember the most dreadful thing.

I remember that she was to be on the patrol. I ask her, "mother, will you be on the patrol tonight?"

"Yes", she answers with caution, sensing my distress, "Is there something wrong with that?"

Swiftly lying, I reply, "I have been shown an omen."

"An omen", she repeats aghastly.

"Yes, an omen of your death if you do not stay home.", I sharply murmured.

"Shall I tell your father?", she asks.

Pausing, calculating the risk, I reply, "Do it, and do it quickly, before they take off."

She returns a few moments later and told me, "Your father will continue the patrol without me, with you in my place."

My heart skips a beat, but I agreed to go.

We wind our way out of the camp, the patrol, and go to our doom. As we reach the spot, my father, who is already on edge from the supposed omen, tenatively went into the thicket. He never stood a chance against the three badgers that ripped him to shreds. He was injured in such a manner that not even StarClan could heal it. And I pause, as I realize that the price for power was sin, and that my sin was worth it. And I stand over my kingdom of chaos with pride.


End file.
